taratemima | snow day in pennsylvania (Reply)

I manage to get to Malvern, PA safe and sound, after riding an Amtrak all afternoon. Packed to the gills, and in a dreamy Sam Adams and salad state, I felt like I was crossing oceans of night sky, sailing over clouds. Then I realized my neck was getting cramped and that old Spin issue was boring.

On the SEPTA, overheard: "I use pot, but I don't brag about it where everyone can hear." Okay.

At the Matusezk house, I find myself eating hearty meals, walking into conversations overhearing odd phrases, and gaping in awe in their vast science fiction collection. I do wish the snow did not make it hard to get to Baltimore, but it is nice to look at, like a picture postcard, all white and gray. I am keeping long hours, crashing at 4-5am.

G wrote back, and now I am not sure I want to know who I 'scared off.' It's more what I want to do with it.

Worst case scenario: I will stew over what bastards they are, either explosively confront them, or distrust everyone, hating them with a black, bitter rage. In either case, it is best I forgive them and leave them unknown.

Best case: I will gently discuss my own questions of if I did anything wrong or upsetting to them, without referring to my knowledge of what they said. After, it can't be said they did it behind my back, since I was far, far away in my 'withdraw from group' mode. Air will be cleared, happy tears will be shed, contact will be re-established, and maybe even a deeper friendship.

I don't know which is best.

A loan got approved, and I will be at a job interview on the second of January at 1pm. Folks, wish me luck.