Complaint

May. 6th, 2012 11:25 pm
taratemima: (Default)
This is baloney. What I want to do is automatically make a list of names with themed meanings and three-word strings from different themed word lists. I would like lemma and part of speech considered. I would like this done automatically. I would like phrases to be be part of word lists and taken apart when needed. I would like to build word lists from synonyms if one word is not found within that theme.

I try to look for tools to make this easier. They are often for one format, one purpose, only available online, and cannot communicate with others. There are permutation applications, but the user would have to provide their own word lists, and cannot get them from a link. Not even getting into cost and if the application is worth it.

Then again, I am told that I put in so much detail and spend so much time thinking about things, that people get so confused. Thus, they do not help, and I have to spend more time working on things alone, and it gets further.
taratemima: (Default)
Autism can be cured by punching strange men who ask to touch your breasts to heal their psychic wounds or something. The science right now is inconclusive, but we have to research it.

I have let people grope me. Some I know very well, and some I didn't know as well but seemed like fun at the time. I have asked acquaintances if I can hug them because I wanted to make sure. I've been embarrassed one or two times I did something without asking. I can understand the impulse.

I also had middle school dumb asses try to cop a feel on the playground and obviously stare at my breasts (early puberty is fun). I still have some scars from it. Sometimes, self-doubts and discomfort when noticing someone really staring down at me. If he wanted to convince me that the project did not reduce me to body parts, it's not working.

Also, this is a good post on what I mean by scars.

I did a search for 'Cthulhu bellydance', for laughs. Well someone did a bellydance to a Lovecraft-themed song. Heck, that song was on a whole album on Lovecraft, too. Funny thing was, I kinda had an image of Lovecraftian music being like YaHoWa13. Maybe the innocent hippies are influenced by Nyarlathotep?
taratemima: (Default)
Suffragist pwnage

See, I followed a link from some historical comics to one-minute movies on Canadian history and I just kept watching them. I feel kinda dumb, but I didn't know it took a lot of work and deal-making to get Canada all nice and stuff.
taratemima: (Default)
Due to [livejournal.com profile] rubynye and despite recent wanking (basically, someone objected to the start of the challenge being on Sukkot/Simchat Torah, and that spawned a whole bunch of made-up holidays to mock-flounce about, statements that all those references to Christmas is non-denomitional and totally inclusive and why are those religious minorities going on about their holidays [how Bill O'Reilly of you] and variations on 'talking "too much" about identity', 'looking for reasons to be offended', and other goodies, and occasional bouts of sanity like pointing out it was running for two weeks and she would still have time, and um, actually Sukkot is kinda busy, that the virulent response only proves the OP right when she feels like her opinion doesn't matter, and Christmas can be celebrated different ways), I joined [livejournal.com profile] yuletide and even requested a fandom that was offered with no takers.

Some fandoms, I must confess, I chose because it would motivate me to read the book/watch the movie/get the TV series. Anyway, I hope it made someone happy.

I've also been debating whether or not to comment on f_w about this. It isn't the being the long dissenting voice against 'LOL SHE'S SO OVERSENSITIVE'. It's because 1) I don't believe this is happening, and 2) I'm too used to being in the corner and shutting the fuck up.

Since it has passed and taking up too much space on my journal )
taratemima: (Default)
I could cheat and include housemates' games. However, I will not.

Games people play and such )
taratemima: (Default)
I ended up missing the last bus to the train station (forgetting I RVSP'd for a lunch), so I walked to a trolley stop. It was raining, but it wasn't a hard rain, and the sun was out. I tried to take a digital picture of a rainbow hanging over the train tracks, but it wasn't visible.

I walked up and down Boston, having dinner there, beer there, and ice cream there. I realize this is a bad idea financially. I am keeping track of it ("That six pack cost $10? You need to get cheaper tastes," my brother says). However, I took the trolley, and decided to be daring and walk from another trolley stop.

Big mistake. I walked through nice tree-lined streets, past quiet houses, some with and without lights. I thought of a story idea involving zombies in Newton. I started to scare myself enough to avoid the shadowy places. Then I wondered if anyone could see me. I wondered if I look like dinner. I have this amazing ability to scare myself that I cannot apply to anything constructive.

Then I saw a familiar street, and calmed down.

Sleep, however, did not come easy.
taratemima: (Default)
Thursday: Went to a party in honor of a recently married couple with a friend. She could see the back ache and the rushing around and the lack of sleep was getting to me. Nevertheless, I had a good time. I ended up playing around and talking with a five-year-old girl.

Girl: I read at a fifth grade level.
Me: Cool, I read at a twelfth grade level at age 12.
Girl: Well, of course you could. Twelve year olds read at twelfth grade level.
Me: Well, it doesn't really work like that.

I also yodeled and drank more red wine than I usually do.

Friday: Red eyes, cough, sweating. It felt more like a cold than a hangover. I was sick, and called in. Dammit, I was hoping to not have sick days until June. I managed to get enough sleep to be well enough for my interview.

It seemed to go well. At one point though, one of the interviewers (the French search editor) asked how I would do in a 'merchantil' environment. Or so I heard. It turns out he said 'multicultural.' Now, I am wondering if I misperceived that. Even accounting for the accent, it seems to be far from how the word is pronounced. I may have expected something related to business, and got the word jumbled up. Or perhaps the phonemes somehow changed into other somewhat similar phonemes in my head.

He also asked for writing I have done. I gave him this address and my writing website. So, er, hi there. I hope all this doesn't make me a bad employee. For one, I do not talk about trade secrets. The cussing--I don't do that in an office, either.

I missed the last bus, however, and took a cab. Yeah, I know that was a bad idea, but my mom was sick, I wasn't going to go on the train for an hour or so, and I was not sure if my sister was able to pick me up. I have got to get a license.
taratemima: (Default)
Tomorrow I am going home. I need to return my bike, though.

Not enough writing. I could do with some new photographs. I need a more coherant theme. I need to get a certificate in web design. Maybe I will get a better job, or is it much too late for that. *sigh*

Some here is the rough outline

The general outline is a short story, a picture, and the standard links

A. "Peach, mango, banana"
1. Autobiography
2. Random likes
3. Test results
4. Livejournal

B. "Books appear in my dreams"
1. Poetry
2. Novel
3. Comic book
4. Academic papers
5. Short stories

C. "I'm sorry for forgetting to pray every night, like I said."
1. The History of My Religious Views
2. B'nei Noach (links and my own commentary)
3. What is pantheism?
4. Judaism (commentary and links)
5. Biblical Rumblings (a link page)
6. Religious Parodies (a link page)

D. "The short life of 'Fast & Bulbous'"
1. My favorite music
2. My own music

E. "I've stopped getting drunk enough to fall asleep in the middle of the room"
1. Links
2. Natural language processing, neural nets, cognitive science, and endangered languages
taratemima: (Default)
I am getting more of the final paper done than I thought, though it still needs to be finished. I am not wholely digging it, but I am okay. I will need to pay attention to my phonetics final exam. Whee.
taratemima: (Default)
I am silently despairing of finishing my paper. It is not the length, but that I am so afraid that I will sound like an idiot on it, like I am not sure what point I want to get across. How do you set up tests for these unanswered questions? One person volunteered if I read psychological work, I would know. No, no, it is not a matter of subjects, I don't know WHAT kinds of tests to give.

I am doing nothing this weekend, breaking up long periods of reading by fusting around on the computer. Dinner is the highlight of my day (which I typed earlier 'dead.' Yeah).

Someone's post about programming made me think of it. I am not a good coder, I do not the organization necessary for it, even though I understand the concepts behind it. If I make up my mind to re-learn C++ and Perl (maybe Prolog, I am told it is used much in natural language processing), it will be a purpose, with lots of hand-holding.

I need some hand-holding, because it is lonely here. I don't always think about it, and it was amerolized due to meeting new people, but I never talk much to them. It is my fault, feeling exposed and judged and not doing enough and slacking off too much. Maybe I don't want to build any kind of resume anymore. I was mildly obsessed about while attending classes, but I don't know if I even want a career in the field I have my degree. Maybe I just want a job that pays okay, where the people are okay, and I have some free time.

But what if I regret not going to grad school? How long is too long to wait? Is there a glut/shortage cycle of jobs in the natural language processing area? Will I pay those student loans? What am I going to do in the end?

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