(no subject)
Jul. 25th, 2001 09:09 pmUm,
innocenti, if you're doing that non-goth challenge thing, don't read my entry. Lots of mopey angst here.
I am chipping away at the three papers I need to read. I have no idea what to write for the assignment. Uh, I have reservations about the information processing model of language acquistation, but no fucking idea how to test them. Uh, round up some more kids? What's my loyalty to the UG model? Some people hate hearing about the antics of other folks' kids, but the digression is appropos for a section on child language (whose purported milestones I was delayed in a kid, fun on the autistic continuum).
I sent presents a week ago. One person said thanks. I cannot reach my mother or my brother, they are not home. Sivan's phone line is disconnected. I cannot cry, I have to read some more, I have to figure out what to write. I just want to talk to someone, is this sort of loneliness something I must always deal with, this disconnection. Even with the pleasant conversations around the cafeteria table, I feel criticized, on how often I cough or how much I eat or my nervous habits or my weak attempts at conversation. All these people seem to have done more in linguistics than I could ever do. All those years struggling with finances mean nothing.
It's the malaise talking, that's one symptom of mono, right? It is not so bad. I want tender loving care. I want someone to bring me tea, and to tell me that I can make it. All I seem to do is sleep, check stuff on the computer, go to classes, and try to force things down my stomach (diminished appetite? Nothing seems appealing these days, but I try to get in fruits and vegetables and all that good stuff).
Somebody talk to me.
I am chipping away at the three papers I need to read. I have no idea what to write for the assignment. Uh, I have reservations about the information processing model of language acquistation, but no fucking idea how to test them. Uh, round up some more kids? What's my loyalty to the UG model? Some people hate hearing about the antics of other folks' kids, but the digression is appropos for a section on child language (whose purported milestones I was delayed in a kid, fun on the autistic continuum).
I sent presents a week ago. One person said thanks. I cannot reach my mother or my brother, they are not home. Sivan's phone line is disconnected. I cannot cry, I have to read some more, I have to figure out what to write. I just want to talk to someone, is this sort of loneliness something I must always deal with, this disconnection. Even with the pleasant conversations around the cafeteria table, I feel criticized, on how often I cough or how much I eat or my nervous habits or my weak attempts at conversation. All these people seem to have done more in linguistics than I could ever do. All those years struggling with finances mean nothing.
It's the malaise talking, that's one symptom of mono, right? It is not so bad. I want tender loving care. I want someone to bring me tea, and to tell me that I can make it. All I seem to do is sleep, check stuff on the computer, go to classes, and try to force things down my stomach (diminished appetite? Nothing seems appealing these days, but I try to get in fruits and vegetables and all that good stuff).
Somebody talk to me.