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Long rant on aspergers and anorexia sites
Apr. 22nd, 2002 10:30 pmIn Paradigm Shifter, reporting on Yahoo not listing 'pro-ana' sites, the person made a remark that sites that treat different mental disorders as lifestyle choices could face the same fate.
Um, I disagree. I speak only for myself, a AS/ADD diagnosed, overweight but not obese young woman. I am so tired of having all these skinny people in magazines, and I do mean skinny, not slender. All you folks who are naturally slender, who are eating regularly and exercising (which I should do), you're all okay. I know the super-skinny models are chosen because the fashion designers want to save on fabric, I know that the photos are airbrushed, that the models live on cigarettes and white wine. But I sometimes feel like a freak, with my big boobs, hips and fat around the waist. Or I feel like the great fat mass of humanity. I mean, what is the worst stereotype of Americans? Fat, boorish, dumb. I am fat, but I am also smart and aware, god dammit!
I think what distinguishes sites like Paradigm Shifter and pro-ana sites is the matter of extreme self-harm and hatred. My stims don't hurt myself, don't hurt anyone else. I sometimes lash out but I am learning to channel the frustration.
My stims (talking to myself and running) don't hurt myself, if a person with multiple personalities doesn't engage in drug abuse, self-injury or anything does completely hurt, then it does no harm.
Maybe it bothers me to see anorexia as 'normal' because I do not think just skin and bones is normal. This is not my weird behavior freaking out the normals, but getting into very self-destructive behavior.
I am not hating myself when I identify as someone with Aspergers and Attention Deficit Disorder. I get into my 'I wish I was normal' phases. But what I find hurts me is not the conditions but other people's reactions to them. This is very different from some of the writing I could stand to see on this one pro-ana. They are never thin and beautiful enough, they are never complete. They cannot face the depression and possible OCD and the unrealistic beliefs.
I am moving toward being complete, either as fat or slender. That is what I hope to do when I look at Asperger's Syndrome sites that talk about how, you know, narrow interests and stims aren't so awful, and ADD sites that tell me being distracted and impulsive can sometimes be useful. Sometimes I wonder if they cancel each other out. My god, am I normal? :)
Um, I disagree. I speak only for myself, a AS/ADD diagnosed, overweight but not obese young woman. I am so tired of having all these skinny people in magazines, and I do mean skinny, not slender. All you folks who are naturally slender, who are eating regularly and exercising (which I should do), you're all okay. I know the super-skinny models are chosen because the fashion designers want to save on fabric, I know that the photos are airbrushed, that the models live on cigarettes and white wine. But I sometimes feel like a freak, with my big boobs, hips and fat around the waist. Or I feel like the great fat mass of humanity. I mean, what is the worst stereotype of Americans? Fat, boorish, dumb. I am fat, but I am also smart and aware, god dammit!
I think what distinguishes sites like Paradigm Shifter and pro-ana sites is the matter of extreme self-harm and hatred. My stims don't hurt myself, don't hurt anyone else. I sometimes lash out but I am learning to channel the frustration.
My stims (talking to myself and running) don't hurt myself, if a person with multiple personalities doesn't engage in drug abuse, self-injury or anything does completely hurt, then it does no harm.
Maybe it bothers me to see anorexia as 'normal' because I do not think just skin and bones is normal. This is not my weird behavior freaking out the normals, but getting into very self-destructive behavior.
I am not hating myself when I identify as someone with Aspergers and Attention Deficit Disorder. I get into my 'I wish I was normal' phases. But what I find hurts me is not the conditions but other people's reactions to them. This is very different from some of the writing I could stand to see on this one pro-ana. They are never thin and beautiful enough, they are never complete. They cannot face the depression and possible OCD and the unrealistic beliefs.
I am moving toward being complete, either as fat or slender. That is what I hope to do when I look at Asperger's Syndrome sites that talk about how, you know, narrow interests and stims aren't so awful, and ADD sites that tell me being distracted and impulsive can sometimes be useful. Sometimes I wonder if they cancel each other out. My god, am I normal? :)
