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Dec. 1st, 2005 12:47 amI enjoy visiting people at their houses, eating dinner, watching movies, talking, etc. I should do it more often.
Yeah, that meme about rape being the suck and not the fault of the raped? First,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pope_guilty said it more succiently and even more gender-inclusive.
Second, people are arguing over one line: "don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape."
OK, so you want your friends to be safe. Never mind advice. Your friends, male and female (the males aren't likely to admit it unless they trust you), may have alternate routes planned out, things never to wear in public, things never to do at parties, and other steps to blend in with the crowd with as little trouble as possible. Your friends (myself included) know of routes home that were scenes of robberies
If you care about your friends, act on it. If you can afford it, drive them home. Get them to call you when they get home if they go out in dodgy areas. Meet up in well-lit places to help them with groceries. Grab them at parties if they look like they are going to crash.
If you got advice, tell them to trust their instincts about people who 'seem' nice. Tell them that telling someone how far they want to go will not be the death knell of romance (or hookups).
Tell them that you are there if they need to talk about something.
If your male (bio or trans) friends confide that they were assaulted, tell them that they are not weak because it happened to them.
Tell your friends (and I find it is mostly men [though not all men], but some women do forget this) that no means no.
Tell them that they are not bad people if they say 'no' to something (and I find men have that problem too), be it a drink or a sex act they aren't comfortable doing right now.
(Also, because I remember a Susie Bright essay decrying this, no one should feel they cannot say 'yes' to something either)
Regardless of individual actions and individual resilience, rape is a crime.
This is a question I'm asking myself now: am I willing to help protect my friends?
I also have not worked on editing the fifth issue of the comic book and I feel lame. Much of the relationship between the main characters have changed, but I am not sure how to write all this tangled emotion while keeping it interesting.
I also need to write notes for that geek girl essay, because December is going to be busy.
Yeah, that meme about rape being the suck and not the fault of the raped? First,
pope_guilty said it more succiently and even more gender-inclusive. Second, people are arguing over one line: "don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape."
OK, so you want your friends to be safe. Never mind advice. Your friends, male and female (the males aren't likely to admit it unless they trust you), may have alternate routes planned out, things never to wear in public, things never to do at parties, and other steps to blend in with the crowd with as little trouble as possible. Your friends (myself included) know of routes home that were scenes of robberies
If you care about your friends, act on it. If you can afford it, drive them home. Get them to call you when they get home if they go out in dodgy areas. Meet up in well-lit places to help them with groceries. Grab them at parties if they look like they are going to crash.
If you got advice, tell them to trust their instincts about people who 'seem' nice. Tell them that telling someone how far they want to go will not be the death knell of romance (or hookups).
Tell them that you are there if they need to talk about something.
If your male (bio or trans) friends confide that they were assaulted, tell them that they are not weak because it happened to them.
Tell your friends (and I find it is mostly men [though not all men], but some women do forget this) that no means no.
Tell them that they are not bad people if they say 'no' to something (and I find men have that problem too), be it a drink or a sex act they aren't comfortable doing right now.
(Also, because I remember a Susie Bright essay decrying this, no one should feel they cannot say 'yes' to something either)
Regardless of individual actions and individual resilience, rape is a crime.
This is a question I'm asking myself now: am I willing to help protect my friends?
I also have not worked on editing the fifth issue of the comic book and I feel lame. Much of the relationship between the main characters have changed, but I am not sure how to write all this tangled emotion while keeping it interesting.
I also need to write notes for that geek girl essay, because December is going to be busy.
