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Aug. 14th, 2006 10:37 pmI am not certain why I feel less eager to post about happy things in my journal.
Maybe compared to Big Cosmic and Existential Despair that I get into, it always seem so small and ephemeral. The things that give me small shocks of joy when I remember them aren't what would give others in the same situation. I have to pay attention to them, rather than wonder what will happen next or if I'll make the same mistakes as before. I wonder if I need these more in my life than grand schemes and involved hypotheses.
I also have to look at things in a new way: a forest, a child, yarn dolls, ginger root, a scratch from a thorny branch, a pattern in the iris, the night sky without light pollution, steak, superheroes, iced tea and stories. It feels too intrusive to tell you what it feels like. Yet, I want to tell.
Maybe compared to Big Cosmic and Existential Despair that I get into, it always seem so small and ephemeral. The things that give me small shocks of joy when I remember them aren't what would give others in the same situation. I have to pay attention to them, rather than wonder what will happen next or if I'll make the same mistakes as before. I wonder if I need these more in my life than grand schemes and involved hypotheses.
I also have to look at things in a new way: a forest, a child, yarn dolls, ginger root, a scratch from a thorny branch, a pattern in the iris, the night sky without light pollution, steak, superheroes, iced tea and stories. It feels too intrusive to tell you what it feels like. Yet, I want to tell.
