(no subject)
Apr. 6th, 2001 12:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
taratemimaDear Lady at Work,
I don't want a makeover. I know how to use make-up (somewhat), but am not comfortable using all the time. See, I don't like spending a lot of time primping for school, work, or whatever. Also, having my face touched, even by me, makes me uncomfortable. It's sensory issues, something I could not explain when I am on the train, tired, and just want to go home.
I don't want to be set up with a date. You never asked me what I am looking for, or even if I am looking for a man. I don't want a "family." I suck with kids. I am currently rehearsing how to explain to the beit din that I care very much about Judaism's survival, and thus don't want to put any children through my lack of parenting skills.
I know that my life is dull, that it is mostly school and work. But I also volunteer, I am setting up going to school in the summer, and I will graduate soon. I want to travel, and most importantly, I want some other job. Ever wonder how I get so frustrated with the job, how I am so formal with the people I call? It is because THEY ARE NOT MY FRIENDS AND I AM NOT TREATING THEM LIKE THAT. I am a telemarketer, the scum of the earth, and I am trying to make this as pleasant as possible for the both of us. I do not "mix it up" because I am nervous on the phone and must rehearse. If I try to ask for the second pledge another way, I STUTTER!
You don't really know me, I am not sure I want you to know me, I don't feel comfortable associating with people at work. I mean, why? I am not here because I like any of you. I am here for the money. What if I quit? Another thing, I hate it when managers tell you to think of them as friends. My friends don't fire me if I come to functions late, you smarmy MBA-brain.
The bitch about this I have no way of telling you this, because I have to rehearse that too. I have no grief with you, but guess what? I am old enough to make my own decisions, and I hate being made over. It makes me feel like I'm in Special Needs classes again, with dumb bints telling me how I'd make so many friends if I open up a little. I am trying to figure how much I should open on my own, thank you. I've been manipulated before, and I can tell when I am manipulated into how other people think I should be. Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I approve.
And I LIKE the style of my goddamn glasses!
On another note, I revised my resume as per advice of the Career Center, and sending it to whom I can. I still need to look at job listings for BU, MIT, Brandeis, and maybe, UMass Amherst. That would necessiate moving to Western Massachusetts, though. No public transportation. Gag.
I am behind, behind, on Spanish Conversation and Composition assignments. What am I thinking. I do the work for the History of English, and don't go to class. I am right across from the classes, and I spent it trying to find a job for August. Oh god.
And I need to go to my hospital volunteering. I need to do things.
I don't want a makeover. I know how to use make-up (somewhat), but am not comfortable using all the time. See, I don't like spending a lot of time primping for school, work, or whatever. Also, having my face touched, even by me, makes me uncomfortable. It's sensory issues, something I could not explain when I am on the train, tired, and just want to go home.
I don't want to be set up with a date. You never asked me what I am looking for, or even if I am looking for a man. I don't want a "family." I suck with kids. I am currently rehearsing how to explain to the beit din that I care very much about Judaism's survival, and thus don't want to put any children through my lack of parenting skills.
I know that my life is dull, that it is mostly school and work. But I also volunteer, I am setting up going to school in the summer, and I will graduate soon. I want to travel, and most importantly, I want some other job. Ever wonder how I get so frustrated with the job, how I am so formal with the people I call? It is because THEY ARE NOT MY FRIENDS AND I AM NOT TREATING THEM LIKE THAT. I am a telemarketer, the scum of the earth, and I am trying to make this as pleasant as possible for the both of us. I do not "mix it up" because I am nervous on the phone and must rehearse. If I try to ask for the second pledge another way, I STUTTER!
You don't really know me, I am not sure I want you to know me, I don't feel comfortable associating with people at work. I mean, why? I am not here because I like any of you. I am here for the money. What if I quit? Another thing, I hate it when managers tell you to think of them as friends. My friends don't fire me if I come to functions late, you smarmy MBA-brain.
The bitch about this I have no way of telling you this, because I have to rehearse that too. I have no grief with you, but guess what? I am old enough to make my own decisions, and I hate being made over. It makes me feel like I'm in Special Needs classes again, with dumb bints telling me how I'd make so many friends if I open up a little. I am trying to figure how much I should open on my own, thank you. I've been manipulated before, and I can tell when I am manipulated into how other people think I should be. Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I approve.
And I LIKE the style of my goddamn glasses!
On another note, I revised my resume as per advice of the Career Center, and sending it to whom I can. I still need to look at job listings for BU, MIT, Brandeis, and maybe, UMass Amherst. That would necessiate moving to Western Massachusetts, though. No public transportation. Gag.
I am behind, behind, on Spanish Conversation and Composition assignments. What am I thinking. I do the work for the History of English, and don't go to class. I am right across from the classes, and I spent it trying to find a job for August. Oh god.
And I need to go to my hospital volunteering. I need to do things.
