My day off

[taratemima]

I found out that I would have to take a cab from the last stop on the Hingham bus line in order to get to my appointment. Fortunately, we set something up. I am going to see how well I do on Wellburtin, I expect that I will be less likely to go down the dark void of numbness that I sometimes do (and depression actually sucks up creativity. There are only limited amount of ways to say 'My life sucks.' When I realized that, I was much more eager to get help). However, I am going to have to think of strategies against the ruminating (the bad kind, the 'oh let's review the awful things that have happened and that I have done' kind).

Meanwhile, I ate at an awful Chinese-Polynesian-American resturant for lunch. Mostly because the smell of fried foods takes me back, even if eating at decent Chinese places (Mary Chungs yay) made me realize that I don't like all fat and grease all the time. So does actually eating some. No, I really don't like spare ribs and pork fried rice. If I was smart, I would have gotten egg rolls and ginger ale and watched JAG. Oh well, I made up by eating fruit as a snack and a decent pot roast dinner.

The rest of the day, I wandered getting my prescription, getting books with my holiday gift certificate and seeing how much I can walk. I must get sneakers and work shoes I can walk in, because my feet hurt from boots.

My friends list is . . .interesting. Yeah.

So I made a snarky comment. I realized it wasn't a good argument, and decided to think on it.

Last night, I talked to a friend about it. He says:

xiphias: The problem is that Judaism is Lawful Neutral with tendencies of Good, while Christianity is Neutral Good to Chaotic Good, at least when it's working well.

Perhaps my mention of Paul was too specific. It is found in a lot of other versions. Biased? Yeah. Considering I hear rabbinic Judaism == the Pharisees, maybe the question should be if the punishment of being synononmous with hypocrisy and cruelty should fit the crime. If words like these are not to be taken as condemnation of all Christians, shouldn't the same consideration be shown to them?

Using the Pharisees as an example of Lawful Evil (reliance on the law rather than the good, and using the law to do evil) is what set me off. Not all the Pharisees were practicing Lawful Evil, and when you look at Sadduces' acquitance to Roman authorities, one wonders if they practiced Lawful Evil more than the Pharisees.

Paul has talked about being freed of the yoke of the law, which is a flip of perscuating those not in the yoke of the law, I was too harsh in placing the blame on the acts of his followers on his words. By their fruits you shall know them and all that. All this, the 'legalism' and what not, have roots in a very fundamental conflict in the early church.In the context of more of the nations coming into what was a strange Jewish-related sect, it made sense (moving toward Lawful Neutral/Good to Neutral Good). However, historically, readers assumed that all of rabbinicial Judaism, derived from the Pharisees, was Lawful Evil. This lead to some Lawful Evil acts on their part, and managed to up the cruelty.

So what we have here is words retched from their context that lead to cruel acts. When seen in context, Paul is not blameless (thinking of the long term, perhaps, but I suppose perscution is not the easy time to think of that) but not guilty. Whenever I hear railing against Pharisaic legalism, I realize the anger is toward the 'legalism,' but within context, the Pharisaic is inaccurate. Not to mention not extending the consideration to past 'authority' and ignoring a very big incidence of guilt by association.

(As I get older, I think sometimes 'question authority' is too simplistic. You should also watch out of people who rail against authority without thought and with the purpose of being one).

(The Hebrew prophets tried many times to move the religion of Israel from incidents of Lawful (using the law to oppress the poor) and Neutral Evil (worshipping idols that demanded acts of child sacrifice) to Lawful Good. They succede, but not without death. It is something else when Stephen places the death of every prophet not on the Lawful Evil within Judea, but on the Jewish people themselves)