One hour after v-day

First, belated good wishes to the couples, loving thoughts to the single (especially the newly), and happy b-day brigid.

I had a happy Valentine's Day being a semi-single woman with a long distance relationship, a local relationship starving for some time together, darn it and occasional yearning moods.

All I did was enjoy what I was doing now, be it walking around, reading in the library, watching Margaret Cho, eating chocolate or overhearing conversations in a Taco Bell. I just regarded all the Valentine's Day crap as red and pink decorations, the people holding flowers as something sweet, and the excess of roses as something to ignore until they bring back the iris/rose mixtures and other floral delights.

I do better dealing with the holiday than my brother, whose birthday is on Valentine's. Every year, the relatives spend money on sweeties and don't give him too many presents. He has this on his list of Things to Justify the Fact He Is Not Working, Going to School or Making Use of His Obvious Music Talents.

Oh, and his sisters always got better grades than he did. *sigh* Another rant for another day.

When I have someone, it always seemed like a great excuse to do something sweet and romantic (you know, like the other 364 days, if you are the sort). When I don't, it depends on whether I dwell on this great quest for the one person who will soothe my pain, completely understand me, support my artistic and academic pursuits and be the light unto my path or not. When I am overanalyzing Why I Suck, happy couples holding hands make me ill, especially on Valentine's. When I am not, I feel a slight yearning mixed with happiness for what they are feeling now.

I also hate the pressure that is put on to Prove You Really Love Her (it is always 'he' the pressure is addressed to, and it is always 'her' that longs for diamonds, chocolate, roses and power tools; blame heterosexism and uneven distribution of income between the sexes, and let's not get started arguing on how it got to be that way ). Is all the loving and caring things done on the other days negated?

Never mind that: some thoughts from freewillastrology.com

Happy Valentine's Day, Sagittarius! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. First and foremost, I adore it when you give your companions a sweet, personal version of the higher octave of love: the primordial force of nature described by French philosopher Teilhard de Chardin. "Some day after we have mastered the winds, the waves and gravity," said de Chardin, "we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for a second time in the history of the world, humans will have discovered fire." There's another way I love how you love, Sagittarius. More than any other sign you put into action the ideal expressed by French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery: "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but looking outward together in the same direction."

My thoughts are with you all--wish me luck on the job interview tomorrow, enjoy your weekend and good night.

Getting silly and getting good

I got a job through Adecco Monday, and the Tufts Health interview went very well, even though I'll have to meet with the supervisors. She says I could get an administration job if I want. Spent the day walking, and I'll get another check thanks to being eligible for EIC (the one consolation of earning so little). Sooo, I'll pay a good chunk of bills, which makes me happy. If all goes well, I'll save part of the temp job toward more of the bills, then save for an apartment, then toward dental work, then maybe studio time, or to pay a literary agent, or who knows?

I had this great skit idea with Noam Chomsky trash-talking. Obviously, not all the opinions expressed here are endorsed by the author, other than that David Horowitz sucks, studying languages are good, and the thought of a 70-year-old linguistics professor talking like he's DMX is funny.

( It's probably going to offend you )