I ain't getting no cures, thanks

http://totl.net/VirusScanner/?

Viruses you suffer from:

Pokemon (101%)
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!


Linux (115%)
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.


USA (100%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves. [repeat]


Junkfood (115%)
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.


Sci-fi (130%)
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.


Cthulhu (130%)
Read some Enid Blyton.


Goth (155%)
Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney.


Industrial (150%)
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.


Gaming (100%)
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.


Religion (180%)
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)


Discordia (200%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.


Free BSD (115%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.


Politics (170%)
Stop caring!


Brand Names (130%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.


Hippyism (143%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.


Conspiracy Theory (180%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.


Environmentalism (103%)
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.


Prog Rock (110%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.

Viruses you might suffer from:

British (60%)
No need for cure. Benign virus.


Japan (90%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.


UNIX (60%)
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.


vi (90%)
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.


X11 (60%)
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.


Computer Games (60%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.


Macintosh (80%)
Use a mouse with more than one button