You don't have time anymore.
Apr. 29th, 2001 11:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
taratemimaToday I am going through a mother of a tooth ache. This is a back molar I remember hearing was 'impacted,' but as long as I brushed regularly, did not give trouble. Now it is, so much that I take two pain relievers every few hours. If I ever get a large lump of money, I am getting extraction, then implants for the middle molars. Argh, the trouble I put up with.
It seems to affect my singing, according to my voice teacher, pushing my tone into my upper face. Massage helps, pain medicine helps, it is focus that I need to work on. I need to mediate in earnest.
That toothache made me sleep late, and made me miss work again this weekend. I was hoping to make up missing weekday shifts on weekends, but no. I know I'll be screwed, but really, I want to finish off two more weeks, then live on my student loan until late June. That is, if it goes through. I want to know what it feels like to concentrate completely on your work again, not feeling guilty about missing work, not wondering if you are too caught up in eat/work/use money for transport. I know people who can combine work and school, but I only survive academically when I do that. Plus, this cutting classes to send job applications must be hurting me a little.
I hope I do well at the Bitwise interview. I did pretty decent there at co-op, but I know I will be expected to do better. Perhaps I should brooch the subject of working part-time? But two hours in the afternoon M-Th is just not going to help them.
I lost a logic puzzle book and an astrology book (which was my non-food indulgence) at Pandemonium. Which means I'll need to pick them up, and not mentally planning to grab the Vampire Dark Ages sourcebook on the Middle East, Hunter: The Reckoning book, and maybe Wraith, along with In Nomine. I wonder if that guy thinking of running the In Nomine game will ever get back to me.
Mashuko and I talked about lot of stuff, but we both agreed 1) we need to push Arik into a solo project of his own, with feedback from us. Hell, I'd be willing to sing, I had thought of singing with him arranging back when we were in that gray area of relationship/not relationship, 2) we both have been asking questions about faith, and feeling a need for it. Music is good, knowledge is good, but for the longest time, I wanted purpose. Some people are content assuming there is no inheriant purpose to the universe and that a person's life is limited to "You are born, you grow up, you die." I guess it sounds reductionist, but that is the impersonation I get.
I want to know what to do with my time before I die.
It seems to affect my singing, according to my voice teacher, pushing my tone into my upper face. Massage helps, pain medicine helps, it is focus that I need to work on. I need to mediate in earnest.
That toothache made me sleep late, and made me miss work again this weekend. I was hoping to make up missing weekday shifts on weekends, but no. I know I'll be screwed, but really, I want to finish off two more weeks, then live on my student loan until late June. That is, if it goes through. I want to know what it feels like to concentrate completely on your work again, not feeling guilty about missing work, not wondering if you are too caught up in eat/work/use money for transport. I know people who can combine work and school, but I only survive academically when I do that. Plus, this cutting classes to send job applications must be hurting me a little.
I hope I do well at the Bitwise interview. I did pretty decent there at co-op, but I know I will be expected to do better. Perhaps I should brooch the subject of working part-time? But two hours in the afternoon M-Th is just not going to help them.
I lost a logic puzzle book and an astrology book (which was my non-food indulgence) at Pandemonium. Which means I'll need to pick them up, and not mentally planning to grab the Vampire Dark Ages sourcebook on the Middle East, Hunter: The Reckoning book, and maybe Wraith, along with In Nomine. I wonder if that guy thinking of running the In Nomine game will ever get back to me.
Mashuko and I talked about lot of stuff, but we both agreed 1) we need to push Arik into a solo project of his own, with feedback from us. Hell, I'd be willing to sing, I had thought of singing with him arranging back when we were in that gray area of relationship/not relationship, 2) we both have been asking questions about faith, and feeling a need for it. Music is good, knowledge is good, but for the longest time, I wanted purpose. Some people are content assuming there is no inheriant purpose to the universe and that a person's life is limited to "You are born, you grow up, you die." I guess it sounds reductionist, but that is the impersonation I get.
I want to know what to do with my time before I die.
